Often, negative experiences can overshadow positive ones.
You can have a dozen good things happen, then one negative comes in and derails your mood. I’ve read this is part of how we’re wired. Back when we needed to be on high alert to survive, we had to focus hard on anything that could be a threat.
The problem is, that same system still fires today.
A comment, an email, a bill, a mistake at work… none of these are tigers, but they can trigger a similar stress response and take all of our focus. Our minds start to spiral and create scenarios that may not even happen.
There’s a quote that goes:
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
I think about that a lot.
A couple things that help me when one bad thing starts to take over the whole day:
- Notice it. Just catching myself and saying, “Okay, my brain is stuck on this one thing,” takes some of the power away.
- Zoom out. Ask, “What’s actually happening right now?” and “What’s one small thing I can do that moves me forward?” Then do that.
We don’t have to pretend the negative stuff isn’t there. We just don’t have to let it erase everything that is going right.
— Bus